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Understanding Korean American Parent-Child Relationships:
An Explorative Study

Sung Seek Moon
Suk-Young Kang
University of Texas at Arlington

Introduction
     There is a myth that Korean immigrant families are one of the model minority groups with virtues of hard work and strong family values, academically successful children, and low divorce and delinquency rate (Jo, 1999; Lee, 1996; Moon & DeWeaver, 2005). However, the typical Korean American family has high tensions and conflicts among family members related to different levels of acculturation, language, customs, values, and ways of life. Other potential sources of conflict, which are common to most families and applicable to all nationalities, are business failure, personal financial problems, religious differences, drinking or drug problems, conflicts with children, infidelity, and the loss of a job (Jo, 1999; Kim, 1997; Kim, Ziedonis, & Chen, 2007; Min, 1995; Na, 1993).
     Several authors have suggested that cultural tension between Korean American parents and their children is a serious issue, one that has created a need for bi-cultural leadership and services to bridge the gap between parents and children (Kim, Gonzales, Stroh, & Wang, 2006; Kim & Sarason, 2006; Min, 1998; Moon & DeWeaver, 2005; Park, Murgatroyed, Raynock, & Spillett, 1998; Rhee, 1996). The societies of Asian countries and that of the United States are fundamentally different in nature. They have different histories, cultures, languages, economic structures, religions, and ethical-moral systems. For example, the United States emphasizes more individualism and pragmatism in personal philosophy and democratic politics while Korea, like other East Asian societies, emphasizes more collectivism and Confucianism and a feudal heritage. These differences increase the likelihood that Korean American children will experience dissonance between their Korean values and structure and American values and structure. This dissonance often begins in school. Korean American children spend much of their time in school with American adults and children. As a result, they often acculturate more rapidly and more thoroughly than their parents. As Rhee (1996) pointed out, the differential degree of acculturation between parents and children is a major source of intergenerational conflict in Korean American families. Korean American parents often have cultural expectations for their children that run counter to American values (Drachman, Kwon-Ahn, & Paulino, 1996; Kim, Sarason, & Sarason, 2006; Kim, Sawdy, & Meihoefer, 1982).
     The literature describes the major sources of conflict in immigrant families as stemming from communication gaps due to language differences (Fillmore, 1991; Moon, Wolfer, & Robinson, 2001), the parents’ endorsement of “traditional values” such as obedience and obligation, and the children’s rejection of those values in favor of personal freedom and autonomy (Sue, 1981). Conflicts between parents and children may appear as a generational issue, a communication problem, the child’s emotional fluctuation (frustrated, angry, contemptuous toward parents), child’s disrespectful manners toward the parent, questioning parents’ authority, or an adolescent’s gender role confusion (Min, 1995,1998; Kim, 1996). Given that many Korean American parents were born in Korea and have been raised with different societal norms, values, and expectations than their more acculturated “bicultural” or “Americanized” children, many of the problems experienced by Korean American children and their families arise in the context of this intergenerational cultural gap (Drachman et al., 1996).
Parental Locus of Control and Children’s Attitude toward the Parent
     Every parent differs in their parenting style. Belsky (1984) proposes that parenting is influenced by the individual parent, the individual child, and the broader social context in which the parent-child relationship is embedded. Traditionally, in Korea the family was highly valued.  Having large families, being parents, and respecting the authority of elders are important aspects of Korean culture. Scholars agree that an authoritarian parenting style is the norm in the Korea traditional family system based on Confucian philosophy (Rhee, 1996; Min, 1995; Park, 2007). Confucianism emphasizes the importance of reverence for ancestors, love and loyalty to parents, honoring community, strict moral codes and respect for learning (Drachman et al., 1996). Consequently, the relationship between Korean parents and children is described as parental leadership with power where children are expected to obey (Kim, 1996; Kim & Gonzales, Stroh, & Wang, 2006; Min, 1995; Nah, 1993; Rhee, 1996).
     This tradition contrasts sharply with that of American society.  The discrepancy creates tension between Korean American children exposed to American values and their more traditional Korean parents. The societies of Asian countries and that of the United States are fundamentally different in nature. As Rhee (1996) points out, the differential degree of acculturation between parents and children is a major source of intergenerational conflict in Korean American families. Korean American parents often have cultural expectations for their children that run counter to American values (Chung, 2001; Kim, Sawdy, & Meihoefer, 1982; Drachman et al., 1996). They simultaneously want their children to adapt to mainstream American society rapidly but urge them to uphold traditional values and attitudes (Rhee, 1996; Drachman, et al., 1996). This conflict between traditional Korean parent/child expectations and American parent/child expectations can be viewed as an issue of perception of the amount, or locus of control on the part of the parent.
     Rotter (1966) defined locus of control as a “generalized attitude, belief or expectancy regarding the nature of the casual relationship between one’s own behavior and its consequences” (p.2).  The concept has informed research in several areas of parent/child relationships such as child personality characteristics, parent-child interactions, parent-child communication patterns, incidence of child abuse, and parent perceptions of the source of child problems (Rotter, 1966). Roberts, Joe, and Rowe-Hallbert (1992) noted:

Parents with a more external locus-of-control orientation see their child’s behavior problems as being outside parental control. Conversely, those parents with a more internal locus-of-control orientation see their child’s behavior problem as a direct consequence of their own behavior toward the child. (p. 218)

     Externally oriented parents may believe that the child’s behavior and development are more determined by chance or by the child’s inborn qualities than by parents’ child rearing skills and efforts. While internally oriented parents believe that the behavior and the development of their child are dependent on their own child-rearing practice of honoring child’s own decisions (Bugental, Caporael, & Shennum, 1980). Janssens (1994) reported the following two findings: (1) parents with a more external locus of control were more authoritarian when controlling their child and (2) parents of difficult children are more authoritarian than parents of easier children. Loeb (1975) also asserted that ‘external’ parents used a highly controlling strategy (explicit directions) in teaching their children, in contrast with the less controlling, more pervasive styles of ‘internal’ parents.
     Little research has been completed which applies these findings to immigrant families, especially Korean American families. Writers assume that most Korean American parents should be considered as externally orientated parents, seeing their child’s behavior problems as being outside parental control and using highly controlling strategies (explicit directions) because of their traditional parenting values and styles (Kim, 1996; Kwon et al., 1997). However, many researchers argue that Korean parents feel a great responsibility for their children’s behavior, even though they have an authoritarian parenting style (Drachman et al., 1996; Hurh & Kim, 1990; Kim, Cain, & McCubbin, 2006; Min, 1998; Nah, 1993).
Methods
Research Questions
     Based on the issues discussed above, the authors developed the following research questions:

  1. What are the primary sources of conflict between Korean American parents and children?
  2. What are the Korean American children’s perceptions/attitudes toward their parents?
  3. What are the relationships between sociodemographic characteristics and indicators of parental locus of control and the parent-child relationship?
  4. Are there significant relationships among indicators of parental locus of control and the parent-child relationship?

Participants
     The participants were 99 Korean American parents and 98 Korean American children residing in North and South Carolina area. Participants were chosen in a non-probability manner, specifically as a purposive sample design. To be eligible for study entry, participants should be Korean immigrant parents, who were born in Korea and came to the United States as immigrants, and their children. They were recruited through Korean churches, language institutes, and community centers. Only one parent and a child per family were asked to participate in the study. The participants were assured of anonymity and confidentiality. The mean age of Korean American parents was 45 years (SD=11.0) ranging from 26 to 80 years.  59.6% of the parent participants were female.  Of the 98 Korean American children who participated in this study, 51% were female, ranging in age from 10 to 23 years, with a mean age of 15 years (SD=2.7). Demographic characteristics of both groups are presented in Table 1.
Measures
     The first author developed separate questionnaires for parents and children. Both questionnaires collected demographic information, including length of time in the United States and level of English.  The study included two structured measures of parent and child conflict: the Parental Locus of Control (PLOC) for parents and the Parent-Child Relationship Survey (PCRS) for children.
     The PLOC is a 47-item instrument designed to measure parental locus of control, the parent’s (internal) or child’s (external) power in a given child-rearing situation (Campis, Lyman, & Prentice-Dunn, 1986). The PLOC contains five factors: parental efficacy (items 1-10), parental responsibility (items 11-20), child control of parents’ life (items 21-27), parental belief in fate/chance (items 28-37), and parental control of child’s behavior (items 38-47). The PLOC has good to excellent internal consistency, with an alpha for the total scale of .92 and sub-scale alphas that range from .65 to .77 (Campis et al., 1986).
     The PCRS is 24-item instrument designed to measure children’s perceptions of their parent-child relationship (Fine, Moreland, & Schwebel, 1983). The PCRS comes in two forms, one for assessing the child’s relationship with the mother and one for assessing the child’s relationship with the father. The PCRS has excellent internal consistency, with alphas for the father sub-scales that range from .89 to .94 with an overall alpha of .96, and alphas for the mother sub-scales that rage from .61 (identification) to .94 with an overall alpha of .94 (Fine et al., 1983).
     Because many Korean American parents do not read English as their first language, the first author translated the PLOC into Korean. A second translator then translated the Korean version of the instrument back into English. The first author compared the back-translated version with the original English version and made additional minor revisions. The PCRS, however, was not translated into Korean because all of the children were assumed to be familiar with English.
     Alpha levels for both the Parental Locus of Control scale-Korean (PLOC-K) and the Parent-Child Relationship Survey (PCRS) were similar to those reported previously. Reliability analysis demonstrates that the PLOC-K was true to the original scale (α=.88; previously reported Alpha level was .92) (Campis et al., 1986).  Cronbach's Alpha level for the PCRS-Father subscale was .84. The previously reported alpha was .96. Cronbach's Alpha for the PCRS-Mother scale was .87. The previously reported alpha was .94.  Some cultural differences relating to the parent/child relationship may account for the slightly lower alpha levels in this research.
Results
     Korean American parents reported that the children’s study (i.e., children don’t study enough) (32%, n=32), manners toward parents (32%, n=32), and language (i.e., parents prefer Korean at home, but children prefer English) (31%, n=31) were considered the most serious problems that affected the relationship between parents and children. Children indicated that lack of time spent with parents (46%, n=45) as the most serious problem in their relationship with parents. Children also reported that they have problems with their parents because of language (32%, n=31) and issues related to their study (31%, n=30) (see Table 2).
     Both parents and children were asked to rank their preferred method of dealing with parent/child conflict as well as programs/interventions the church could offer to aid families. There was a statistically significant relationship between parents’ income level and parental choice to talk to their children directly when they are experiencing a problem (χ 2 =10.623, df =2, p<.01). Specifically, higher income parents were more likely to talk to their children directly when they had a problem with their child. They also preferred prayer meetings as a church program to solve their conflict relationships with their children (χ 2 =10.075, df =2, p<.01). A cross-tabulation between the variables of parental choice to talk with children directly by parents’ education level yielded significance (χ 2 =17.609, df =4, p<.01). Parents who had higher educational levels were more likely to talk to children directly when they had a problem with their children than were parents who had a lower educational level.
     Table 3 shows that there are several significant relationships between children’s perception of the parents and subscales of PCRS. In PCRS-Father version, a moderate correlation was found (rho(90)= .680, p<.01) between positive affect and the degree of  father involvement. The greater the level of father involvement, the more positive affect (respect) the child reported. The level of communication with parents is also significantly related to the level of respect (rho(90)= .428, p<.01). Furthermore, a child’s level of anger is negatively related to the level of father involvement (rho(92)= -.211, p<.05).
     The PCRS-mother version also demonstrates three significant relationships as follows: (1) a moderate significant relationship between identification and positive affect (rho(94)= .577, p<.01); (2) a strong significant relationship between communication and positive affect (rho(92)= .822, p<.01); and (3) a moderate significant relationship between identification and communication (rho(93)= .396, p<.01). Children who highly respected and evaluated their mother positively have better communication with their mother and want to recognize their mother as a role model in their life.
     Scores on the PLOC-K and PCRS were correlated with age, gender, years of stay in the United States, level of English proficiency, education, income, number of family members, and number of problems reported by the families. There was a small, negative, statistically significant relationship between the PCRS-Father and the total number of problems in the home (r=-.27, p<.01, N=97). Children who reported a good relationship with their fathers reported fewer problems in their home.
     A small, negative, and statistically significant relationship was found between parental age and the parental responsibility sub-scale of the PLOC-K (r=-.26, p<.01, N=95), and the child control of parent subscale (r=-.23, p=.02, N=95). The older parents reported feeling less responsibility for their children than younger parents as well as feeling that their child controlled their lives. There was also a small, statistically significant relationship between educational level of the respondent and the belief in fate/chance subscale of the PLOC-K (r=.25, p<.01) and the parental control of child's behavior subscale (r=.32, p<.01). The respondents who were more educated tended to report a higher score on the fate/chance subscale and greater control over their child's behavior (see Table 4).
Discussion and Conclusion
     The findings of this study indicate that the most serious problems Korean American parents and children have in their relationships are related to children’s study habits and attitude toward their parents, and parents’ use of language and time. Koreans put great emphasis on formal education as the main avenue for social mobility, because historically, in Korea, the civil service examination provided the main opportunity for upward social mobility (Deucher, 1992; Min, 1998; Yang & Rettig, 2003). Korean American parents make enormous sacrifices to give their children a good education. This emphasis can cause tension between parents and child as well as pressure for the child.
     Although most study participants attend Christian churches, like other Korean parents influenced by Confucianism, they emphasize filial piety, family ties, and the patriarchal family order (Chung & Yoo, 2000; Min, 1998).  As a result, they expect obedience from their children.  Parents tend to see their Americanized children as selfish, disobedient, and materialistic (Kim et al., 1982, Jo, 1999). This contributes to conflict between parents and children. As the data reveal, Korean American parents in this sample do not feel effective in their parenting role. Time is a big issue in Korean American families. Empirical data shows that Korean Americans work 12 to 16 hours a day (Min, 1995; Nah, 1993; Hurh and Kim, 1990; Moon et al., 2001). An empirical study reported that 64% of the Korean American parents in a New York survey do not stay home after school for their children, and 46% report that no adult stays home with the children after school (Min, 1992). 
     Korean American children who participated in this study also designated time as the biggest problem in their relationship with parents. Therefore, it is the most important thing to establish a good parent-children educational program to expand understanding of each other with recognizing how the problems identified by parents and children fit together. Because parents have high expectations for their children’s success, they work very hard (and often have several jobs) to provide for them.  They also expect their children to study hard.  But heavy work and school schedules severely limit the amount of time that parents and children have to spend together.  With little time together, it is hard for parents to have much influence on their children’s values and behaviors or to have very positive relationships with them.  Given the influence of American culture, it is easy to see how parents and children grow apart.
     The findings of this study indicate that another fundamental cause of conflict between parents and children is the language barrier. Korean American children who have little or no experience with Korean culture and language are accustomed to speaking in English, but their parents often wish to communicate with their children in Korean. Korean adults seem to have more problems with English than most other adult immigrants. Nah (1993) argues that there are two factors: pre-migration cultural experience with language and dissimilar linguistic structure of the immigrants’ native tongue and English add to this difficulty. Korean culture discourages expressing feelings, questioning authority, and speaking out about new ideas. This background does not help Korean Americans overcome English problems. Also, Korean linguistic structure is opposed to English. Nah (1993) explains that “Korean places predicative verb at the end of the sentence and permits plenty of room for digression, uses more indirect and abstract expressions, and uses a circular pattern of logic” (p. 292).
     Contrary to previous research (Park et al., 1998; Choi & Tirritto, 1998; Lee, 1996; Kwon et al., 1997; Patterson and Kim, 1986), the findings of this study suggest that even though Korean American families have more conflict factors, such as cultural and value differences, language barriers, and limited employment and social opportunities, Korean parents and children show mean scores similar to the mean scores of American parents and children on PLOC and PCRS. Perhaps the added stress of immigration does not have deleterious long-term effects on the Korean American family. Korean Americans have many resources for changing their conflict relationships in the family, such as churches, community organizations, mass media, and strong inner motivation. Social services utilizing community resources for Korean American families can change conflict relationships in the family.
     In Korean American families, children’s misbehaviors strongly relate to the relationships with their fathers. The findings of this study show that there is a statistically significant relationship between the PCRS-Father and the total number of problems in the home. Children who reported a good relationship with their fathers reported fewer problems in their home. In the traditional Korean society, the father is considered the primary breadwinner and decision-maker in the family and exercises authority over his children. Most Korean American families keep this tradition as an important value. Naturally fathers’ lives and parental style deeply affect children’s behaviors. Therefore, it is important to develop some programs for fathers. In addition, the findings of the study demonstrate that the level of respect toward parents and the level of father involvement affect the level of communication and children’s level of anger in the family. This implies that interventions or programs should be focused on parenting skills to get higher degree of respect from children and time management to spend their time with children.
     The majority of the respondents, both male and female, did not want to talk with relatives about their problems with their children. This finding is thought to correlate directly with Chemyon, the Korean value of saving face. For this reason, confidentiality may be an important factor in the success of social programs and services for Korean American families.
     There is another interesting finding that the respondents who were more educated tended to report a higher score on the fate/chance subscale and also greater control over their child’s behavior. This result could be related to the fact that the sample was collected from church attendants only. The authors speculate that participants confused religious commitment to God for their children with fate/chance. In addition, they speculate that educated people tended to control their children because they were more motivated to help their children succeed in this society. These ideas demand further study.
     This preliminary study employed a convenience sampling method including mostly church goers. Therefore, to enhance the external validity of this study, further studies need a more representative sample encompassing members of other religious groups as well as non-Christians. In addition, further research can test specific hypotheses, such as differences in the family relationship between Korean Americans and other minority groups, or between Korean Americans and their home country of Korea. Finally, further research can work to develop a scale to recognize Korean American family types, and assess their unique needs according to different family types. This may give a more accurate and profound insight to developing social services for Korean American families.

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Table 1. Demographic Characteristics of Subjects.
  n %
Parents (N=99)    
Age
    M (SD)                     45 (11.0)
Gender
   
    Female 59 59.6
    Male 40 40.4
Marital Status

   
    Married 82 83.7
    Single 6 6.1
    Divorced or Separated 10 10.2
Education

   
    Under High School 25 25.8
    High School Graduate 29 29.9
    College Graduate and More 43 44.3
Family Income (Per Month)    
    Less than $1,000 4 4.3
    $1,000-1,999 18 19.1
    $2,000-2,999 24 25.5
    $3,000-3,999 23 24.5
    $4,000-4,999 10 10.6
    More than $5,000 15 16.0
English Speaking Ability    
    Excellent 11 11.2
    Good 46 46.9
    Poor 41 41.8
Children (N=98)    
Age
     M (SD)              16 (2.7)
   
Sex    
    Male 48 49
    Female 50 51
Household    
     Living with both parents 81 82.7
     Living with step-mother, step-father, or both 9 9.2
     Living with one or both grandparents 9 9.2
     No siblings 21 21.4
     One sibling 67 68.4
     More than one sibling 10 10.2

 

Table 2. The Top Five (5) Problems Reported between Korean American Parents and Their Children

  Parents
(N=99)
  Children
(N=998
  Problem N   Problem N
(1) Study 32 (1) Time 45
(2) Children's Manners 32 (2) Language 31
(3) Language 31 (3) Study 30
(4) Time 27 (4) Money 27
(5) Children's Friend 25 (5) Customs 19

 

Table 3. Correlations among PCRS Sub-Scales

 Sub-Scales 1 2 3 4
Father Version
Positive Effect ------      
Involvement .680** -----    
Communication .428** .591** -----  
Anger -.262* -.249* -.082 -----
Mother Version
Positive Effect -----      
Role Confusion .032 -----    
Identification .577** .033 -----  
Communication .822** .043 .396** -----

Note. PCRS: Parent-Child Relationship Survey. * p<.05,  ** p<.01.


 

Table 4. Significant Correlations between PLOC, PCRS-Father , and PCRS-Mother and Demographic Variables

Parent Sample r p N
PLOC Subscale*   Age  
             Parental Responsibility -.26 .01 95
             Child's Control of Parent -.23 .02 95
PLOC Subscale** Educational Level
             Fate/Chance .25 .01 96
             Parental Efficacy .32 .00 96
  Number of Problems in the Home
PCRS-F* -.27 .01 97
Note. PLOC: Parental Locus of Control. PCRS-F:  Parent-Child Relationship Survey –Father Version. *Pearson's r; ** Spearman's rho

 
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